But because that was considered normal, we now have a much bigger problem with what is considered “normal.”
I read an article written by Kristi Burton Brown for Life Site News. It detailed about how Jennifer Lawrence was talking over the “stolen” nude pictures of herself last year, with Vanity Fair. She told the magazine that she had taken the pictures because her boyfriend needed something to look at besides porn. Brown was disgusted by this statement. Lawrence had basically said that he was going to look at something, it might as well be her. I’m disgusted too!
I try to be as transparent as I can. And I realize that this particular blog may sever my connections with some. In my mind and in my drafts folder I have started this note a dozen times. I always feel the Holy Spirit tell me it’s not time yet. And, if you are reading this, I guess He has released me on it.
Brown is absolutely right. Many areas of America have learned to reason and rationalize the greatest addiction to ever come about in this country. It is only accepted as an addiction by a few small groups. I suppose for many reasons. Pornography isn’t just a sin, it is a creeping fog that has slipped quietly across the population of the United States. In fact, the whole world.
We have often pointed to men and told them that they are bad because of this. But most men who are addicted to this blight are looking at women who are making money from showing themselves off. It is not a gender issue. It’s the same issue that plagued humans for thousands of years…sin.
We now have an accepted problem that lays a trap for all of our young people. No, the problem isn’t porn, it’s parents who are addicted and find it to be “normal.” When I was a child, it was said, when I was caught with a Playboy once, that at least I was “looking at women and not men.” It seemed better that I was straight and addicted to porn than otherwise. But because that was considered normal, we now have a much bigger problem with what is considered “normal.”
I can honestly say that I could write a book about it. No one would consider it to be a viable tale because I don’t have a PhD. Or the perfect solution and ending. I am still addicted.
Down through the years I have come to understand many truths about porn. What it can do to you emotionally. What it does to you physically. What it does to those around you. What it does to your heart. And the walls it puts into place between a person and his Creator.
I prayed for years that God would remove this addiction. I could go into all the ramifications of what it did to me. How it destroyed my marriage. How it shut down the church I pastored. How it has crept into my children’s lives. And still God would not heal me. I have had my share of instant miracles, so I prayed from the mindset of someone who believed and knew God could do it. But, nothing changed in me and I was stricken to the point of being homeless. I lost everything. I spent a year needing a cane to move around, in severe pain 24 hours a day. I begged God some nights to just let me die. He did not.
I am truly sorry if this sounds like some kind of sob story. In a way, it very much is. I have experienced some of the worst a person can. But, I know many who have been through deeper, darker valleys. Those who walked through the valley of the shadow of death and walked out in Jesus’ arms never to be spoken to on this plane again. I, still live.
I’m not homeless anymore. God has provided work for me. A place to sleep. A place to call home. And someone who loves me and knows all my faults. But the fallout from my poor decisions is still falling. And it may for many years to come. Did God heal me? No, He did not. Am I free from porn? No, I will not likely ever be free. At least not in the way that one hopes for. Though I do not view it as I did, I have learned that the struggle is real and that the only way out is to keep God close and understand that this, like most aspects of the Christian walk, is a fight! One I plan on winning. The new song that MercyMe has on the radio comes to mind:
“I know You’re able and I know You can
Save through the fire with Your mighty hand
But even if You don’t
My hope is You alone”
In all honesty, I have come to understand that God has something amazing for each of us. We can choose to go after that and the enemy will use whatever list of weaknesses we have to try and stop us. And, if you are like me, that might be a pretty long list.
I have dealt with my shame. And, sometimes the pig reminds me of that shame. Then I have to deal with it all over.The “Accepted Addiction” is not something people brag about around the coffee pot at work. But it is a very real thing. Another song comes to mind as I consider the size of this epidemic. “Dry Bones.” We can’t get a handle on this issue, but with the “Breath of God,” maybe we can.
Remember this blog is about God’s Crazy Amazing Love. It does do wonderful things to those who allow it to…